One of my alltime favorite films is I [heart] Huckabees. It has one of the best opening sequences of alltime; it starts with a man walking. we hear his inner monologue in form of a voice over. It transitions into a scene with a dialoge.
This whole scene really makes me feel at home. I think that is because I’m precisely that guy in the scene, who is having this inner monologue. His struggle is my struggle. I think that this scene shows exactly how my mind (or might I say: the human mind?) works.
So why am I mentioning all of this?
Tonight I started writing down my thoughts and feelings.
I kind of got lost doing that.
Then I remebered this scene from the film. In a way it says everything I tried to say, just more poeticly.
So instead of writing a cheap copy, I give you the original! Well, ALMOST…
So I googled the transcript of the dialoges. I copied and pasted it. Then I exchanged a few words. Don’t know if it makes any sense to you. It sure does make a hell lotta sense to me.
Ready? Here it comes:
Motherfucking shit fucker.!
What am I doing?
What am I doing?
I don’t know what I’m doing.
I’m doing the best that I can.
I know that’s all
I can ask of myself.
But is that good enough?
Is my work doing any good?
Is anybody paying attention?
Is it hopeless to try and change things?
The African guy is a sign, right?
Because if he isn’t…
then nothing in this world
makes any sense to me.
I’m fucked. Maybe I should quit.
Maybe I should just fucking quit.
Don’t fucking quit.
I don’t know what the fuck
I’m supposed to fucking do anymore.
Fucker. Fuck! Shit!
sadek: „I’m glad we saved
a little piece of our humanity,
with this blog.
I know it’s small,
but at least it’s something.
Don’t stop fighting.
We’re going to save a lot more of it!
To celebrate, I have a poem I’d like to read:
like this blog sits.
You rock, blog.
The blog just sits and is.
You show us how to just sit here,
and that’s what we need.“
mag: „Yeah, we did it!“
sadek: „Any press come?“
mag: „Yeah, local paper’s here. What’s wrong?“
sadek: „Nothing. It’s just I have an appointment to check out this African guy.“
mag: „What African guy?“
sadek: „Exactly. What African guy?“